Could people be as toxic to you as chemicals and poisons?!?!
Yes they can! If you have been around me long enough you have probably heard about what I like to call "Energy Suckers." I like to call these people the ones that suck your positive energy right out of you, consciously or unconsciously hoping to fill their own voids. After reading a GREAT article by Travis Bradberry called 12 Ways Successful People Handle ToxicPeople, I wanted to share my take on this subject.
Tracy's Tip: 5 Steps to Handle Toxic People
Bradberry states: “Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.”
Studies are showing more and more how influential the people you hang out with will dictate the choices you make in your life. Dr. Mark Hyman even states that people are 2x more likely to lose weight if they do it together. So, are you ready to make healthy choices over un-healthy? I like to call healthy choices those choices aligned with your values.
Below are Five Steps to Handle Those Energy Suckers in your life:
Step #1 Define Your Values
Setting Values sets your foundation. I like to create 2-3 Values with all my clients. These are things that keep your soul thriving. What gets you up in the morning? What keeps that “spark” alive? What brings a smile to your face like no other? When are you the happiest? Values are aligned with how you want to feel. My Top 3 are: Fun, Freedom, Peace
Get it Done: What are your top 2-3 values? I recommend looking up the meaning of the word in the dictionary to make sure you know exactly what it means, as well as, how it feels in your body.
Step #2 Set Boundaries
This is my equation I use with clients for Setting Boundaries:
1. Define what behavior of another is triggering you.
2. Define why this behavior is causing you harm/discomfort/stress
3. Define the consequence that will happen if the other engages in this behavior anymore.
Get it Done: Who in your life needs a good ole’ boundary? How or where can you set it up? You do not need to speak to the other to create a boundary, but sometimes it is necessary to set up a successful one.
Step #3 Focus on what you want
We have such a habit of getting stuck in what we don’t want, that we create blinders to any solution. Using what is going wrong as feedback can help you discover a new path to what you do want.
Get it Done: Who do you think is pretty cool that you never seem to talk to, or have fun with? Maybe ask them to go out this week? They could be the hidden signs towards what you want in life.
Step #4 Have more supportive people than toxic ones
Who are those people that you know holds sacred space for you? Or those people that build you up? Those are people that you can use as preventative care from Toxic People. The more you are with people that build you up, the less the people that break you down will affect you.
Get it Done: Create your list of supporters in your life. When things get stressful make sure you talk to one of them. I like to be in contact, somehow with a supporter every day, even if it’s a little text or watching something from them on the internet. Your supporters don’t need to be people you know personally. If someone inspires you they are supporting you. I also love just going to yoga class to fill me back up.
Step #5 Saying No.
As Marie Forleo says, "Get On The No Train." If someone asks, or is doing something that is not aligned with your values, then it is your right to say No.
Get it Done: Speak your Values to Yourself EVERYDAY, so when you are approached by someone, you are grounded in your authenticity. You also have the option to say “Thank you for the offer. I need 24 hours to think about, and will get back to.”
Which Step are you going to get started with THIS WEEK? Please share in a comment, or head over to my Facebook Page and share you A’ha from this post. Let’s keep going empowering everyone to finally step into whom they really are, so they can feel more authentic and happy in their lives.
(Resource: Travis Bradberry: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/243913, Marieforleo.com)